I'm sitting here with a cup of tea in hand and tear-stained cheeks. Jonathan is on a plane to Colorado for two reasons: work meetings and to oversee the packing process (all of our stuff will be in WA by the end of this month). Camden is asleep. I've already looked at blogs, checked my email, and skimmed through statuses on Facebook. There wasn't anything else to look at or read, but I continued to click away. Then I realized I was wasting time--something I do often on the good ol' Internet. I set down the computer and in approximately 2.4 seconds my eyes were filled with tears. Happy or sad tears? Yes. Necessary tears? Absolutely!
Silence is rare in my life, for a number of reasons, I suppose. I'm a Mommy to an energetic 2-year-old who takes
really short naps. I'm a wife to an incredible guy who I want to spend time with, especially after Camden goes to bed. I like to be busy. I like to talk. I like music. I like to be with people. I'm pregnant and tired. That last one may not make sense so let me explain. Processing life takes a lot of energy. At the end of the day I don't have much left--it has been used up doing things I love with my favorite little guy which is great, but it's gone nonetheless. So, tonight I decided to avoid filling the silence with the computer, TV, music, or a book and instead just sat in it. Now I am here with tear-stained cheeks, back on the computer, but feeling a bit lighter. I haven't fixed anything, but I've allowed all of those things that have been pushed to the bottom of my heart and mind surface. My thoughts are still fragmented and chaotic, but I will share some of the topics that bounced around my head...
pregnancy. mama of 2. transitions. moving. friends: old and new, near and far. marriages: some with many struggles and some with a lot of strength. my relationships with God and others. our house in colorado. my priorities. teething. family. our church. being sick is lame (especially while jonathan is away). finances. sleep.
Here's to silence and my love/hate relationship with it. Tonight, my friends, I loved it!