thoughts about one

He's one. Parker Reid, my baby, is one. It still hasn't completely sunk in. On one hand I feel like I was in the hospital a week ago and on the other, the newborn stage (and adjusting to life with two) feels like a lifetime ago. It is a bit emotional for me...I'm a little sad he is already one. I don't want to be, it's a great stage and I'm loving it, but I am still sad. I feel as though someone has pushed the fast forward button on my life. Where did my baby go? We are done having kids so I think the reality of never having a little one again, never planning a first birthday party again, never being pregnant again, never watching him sit up for the first time again (the list goes on) is setting in and it makes me sad. Someone asked me today, "How old is he?" and for the first time I said, "He's one." She continued the conversation, asking about Camden, etc. and I, of course, answered her, but my heart was still stuck on my response to Parker's age. He is one. I love it and I love him. I would not hit rewind, I would not change anything about him or his age. I love having a one-year-old and a three-year-old. I don't want time to slow down, but I need to slow down and take it in. I have been trying to make a conscience effort to savor little moments during the day, to just stop and be thankful. My baby is healthy and happy (and not much of a baby anymore). I may seem contradictory by feeling sad yet not wanting anything to change. There is just a part of me that will miss the tiny stage, but I will give it up for what God has in store for me with two incredible boys. What a gift!